Monday, June 27, 2005 @Monday, June 27, 2005
I hate you
I hate all of u.
I am not askin for extras
It is allowance.
They get the luxuries
U wan to even rob me of my basics?
I wish i could pull down the show curtains
The bluff behind the 'treated good' n 'well off' to outsiders eyes
It is not even close to dat, admit it.
I shot out of d hse
A run made me feel betta
Why should i be one child who hav to run wif tears fallin
But i tell u now
I would rather my tears fall out in d streets
Den u let u see dem.
To break away from tis
Is my wish.
? and i stand in the
wonder of your love
Wednesday, June 15, 2005 @Wednesday, June 15, 2005
There she goes again...
U alwiz hav to spoil a happy mornin
The ugly side of man
The sheer surfaced mind
The eyes dat fail to see depth
The mind that is so selfish
The poison from one tongue
Dun u noe its enuff to kill?
Jus to save that 'face' of urs
Jus u r afraid of how others look at u
u throw me into the flames of fire
to suffer, to slowly die
Is dat all u care about?
Is dat all?
N even if u wan to disown,
den do it.
Stop killin me slowly with those thousand spike words of urs
Again n again,
how long more of it?
How long more do u tink i can take
Does it not occur to u dat ive forgiven u time n time again despite ur damage to me
U tink i dun wanna leave?
I also wish i could go as far away as i could
Nv see u again
How could u have done to mk me feel tis
The extent of damage uve done in me, do u even noe
if i were striken down wif a terminal illness
with only a stated period of tm left to live
wld u den wld reli care jus dat i am well
N not on all other fuckin worldly things?
If i were to say sometms i reli wish i were born in another family
would u den straightaway condemn me dat i am wrong without even lookin into why i come to dat
Like u always would condemn me almost immediately.
At least i stood in ur shoes b4,
U nv did.
U nv tried to understand
U fucking jus want wat u wan.
Wat about wat i wan?
If i said i wish i had a different family
i bet anyone who read tis wld also tink, i am such a unfilial brat
Don judge
U wld never noe how it is, to be me
Unless u r in it.
U r quite powerful i muz say
To be able to mk my mind almost bonkers
To be able to mk me wan to gif up life
U hav pushed me, to almos d furthest i can go.
The ones dat gave me life
are the very ones to make me gif up life
Tell u wat, no use sayin all those things ok
Ive alredi lived past tat
Everythin n everythin hurtin dat u say
ive alreadi lived past dat
How i mean onli a shit to u
I also alreadi live through dat ok
It doesn cause me any upset anymore
Be fuckin glad
U fuckin live for others
Y should i live for u
U dunno who are d ones who truly is good to u
u r jus fuckin too blind i can only say.
U will regret.
Now u noe y i nv blamed my mum for commitin suicide
bcos i noe how she felt.
U senseless fuckin people
Those poison tongues of urs..
pushin others to their limits
even if alive, wld be pushed to insane
but a lesson u all nv learnt well
The only thing i will hate myself is
when its past
i noe i will still shed tears for u n be v heartbroken
after all dat u do to destroy me, i still will.
I am not human am i?
I should be drownin in hate for u.
How could u
why
I dun wan to noe anything
I am tired alreadi
All i can say is..
No matter wat
I will never give up..
Hear good.
? and i stand in the
wonder of your love
Thursday, June 02, 2005 @Thursday, June 02, 2005
Damn.
Im havin tis unbearable pain in my jaw n throat
Not sure wats wrong
Its killin me
Jus takin a breadth hurts
So u see my mouth is semi open almost every other min
Wen dwn tm to meet sayang n hy
she can laugh at me somemore!
*ah bish
yes i noe i look funny la haha irritatin
I had to chew d chix rice on my rite side only
damn painful la
Today was one of those days sayang was in her noti mood heh
So we were lk bickerin lk two chickens over dere
But still 100% so lovey dovey
Hy fainted more den a million tms ahaha
So i was such a nice soul n sent d 2 dwn ubi
In d bus forgot wat i said
dat sent sayang luffin n luffin...so loudly n unstoppable
She is adorable whenever she goes on tis unstoppable roarin luffter ramp of hers..
lol
but i had no choice to cover her mouth too haha
Gettin top sales
Is wat u deserved
How hard uve worked, havin to put on a stern front in front of ur staffs n pullin bac ur cheery side at tms when u need to(Betta not to me huh! haha), all d late nites u stayed bac to do ur work quietly, all d extra hw uve done, always forgoin ur breaktms for work, havin to still be bothered by d shop even on ur offdays, havin to constantly worry for so long..
All of dese, has finally paid off.
Even i admire u, sayang.
Tho sometms i reli v xin tong.. :)
I see ur smile, n i noe ure reli happy
N im happy for u reli.
The best i can do for u,
is to be beside u always, supporting u in all dat u do.
Always know dat k.
It was a long ride home..
but i feel its nth :)
At least i got to see u.
? and i stand in the
wonder of your love
