Monday, August 15, 2005 @Monday, August 15, 2005
Live Twice -Darius
Don't leave now
Not yet
They're words I
Regret
And I'm sorry
Somehow
I only
Wanted to make you proud
If I could only let you know
I'd give up everything I own
For just one more day with you
There's nothing I wouldn't do
How could I let it pass me by
If I make every sacrifice
To bring me back your love
If only we could live twice
If only we could live twice
When you told me
I froze
It still echoes
In my soul
Please forgive me
If I didn't say
I love you
Every single day
If I could only let you know
I'd give up everything I own
For just one more day with you
There's nothing I wouldn't do
How could I let it pass me by
If I make every sacrifice
To bring me back your love
If only we could live twice
If only we could live twice
I could not let it pass me by
Nothing I wouldn't give to sacrifice
To bring me back your love
If only we could live twice
If only we could live twice
? and i stand in the
wonder of your love
Sunday, August 07, 2005 @Sunday, August 07, 2005
Actually those hold much meaning to me
now like a leaf fallin dwn the ground..
Keep it inside?
again.
....den....
d shoutings in d house again
U hav ur backin
U can make the rite become wrong, the wrong become rite
The white become black. all greys.
Perhaps im at fault too
The unhappiness in me i am bias
i held back n i threw the ball somewhere else.
my heart was pain i tink ill suffer a hrt attack one day
all will be glad den
I am tired...
i am very,very tired.
? and i stand in the
wonder of your love
Saturday, August 06, 2005 @Saturday, August 06, 2005
..........
..............
...............
Its difficult to decode wat im sayin
wat i say in my blog
Pple often misunderstand, misinterpret
Actually dun hav to,
dese are merely my own thoughts
wat i tink bout issues or things
dey are meaningless.
It is a channel for me to doodle, write floating thoughts
which disappear in a second.
No weight attached.
No importance.
Putting that aside..
Negative thing,
den negative again.
sigh
I take a sink.
I only wanted it to be simple n happy.
Dun need so much.
Putting dat aside...
I tink my footsteps r heavy
I am drainin out of energy le
Stayin back late in schs
all d work, d thinkin even if not doin
no ease
Untitled.
Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
Goin on n on...sometimes i come to a stop...n i wonder
n i myself ask wat am i doin..like im workin so hard but not even noein where im headin..is dere even a destination
Ive been continuin for 2 semester dat is almos a yr
my 2 mth brk workin intern
Tis comin one means alot to me
I guess i shouldn allow it to be dampened by anything
I should reli go enjoy myself.
Ya?
Gif urself a break man, jovin!
? and i stand in the
wonder of your love
Monday, August 01, 2005 @Monday, August 01, 2005
Today feels a little heavy
I wen up to Villa Francis Home for the aged
d one i wen up for volunteer services wen i was in cj
I rem 2 sisters i met
D elder one was v friendly,spoke to me in gd english
She told me stories, told me her life
n intro-ed me to her younger sis, her next bed partner
Altho being d elder sis, she cleans up, takes care, feeds her younger sis
who was blind in one eye n was reli ill.
I saw how she did all of these, w so much love for her sis.
I was moved den.
My photojournalism class, i wanted to do a story on dem w pics.
I cldn rem how to go dat place
I cldn contact dem by fone
I cldn rem deir names
But i still wen.
I got permission from d catholic 'brother' dere.
He said as long as dey r ok wif it, den go ahead.
we managed to find tat pair of sisters.
I didn recognise her d 1st tm i made rounds into d rooms
bcos she cut her hair alr.
She cldn reg me, which i alr expected.
i gav a brief intro.
Like 3 yrs bac, she held my hand tight
n talked.
All d tm, she held on to her rosary.
But tis time, she talked quite wierdly
N when she said, " deres somebody inside my body n torturing me."
i knew she wasn't ok lk 3 yrs bac.
Time has taken away her health, her mind, n sense.
Once a old lady full of drive, n mind so clear
Now shes down to one weak, and senile
1 nurse came in n clarified dat w me.
I do not share blood w Lucy.
I am neither a kin nor her anyone.
But, i felt d ache in me.
I sat dere quiet lookin at her
nv spoke for words all left me.
I spoke a little to her younger sis
In btws dere were communication brk dwn
I dunno if she noes wat im talkin
N im sure i cldn catch all of wat shes tokin.
I dunno y..
But y does it seem dat i find d younger sis in a betta shape den d elder now
which was so different frm dat tm
But we all noe both r nt well
No more d strong elder sis takin care of d younger ill sister
Younger sis lying on d bed
Elder sis sitting by her own n mummbling to herself
D saddest thing is when i asked Lucy to go close to thresea to tk a pic
she was reluctant, she rather tk alone
dere was tis empty space btw dis sisters.
No more d unseparable pair
Jus bcos of d monster of tm, n health.
I wonder, r dey den strangers as every day pass?
Wat wld become of d younger sis now dat her elder sis can't tc of herself alr..
Who else can each one of dem depend on?
But who can blame
Every day sitting starin into space
dere is nth to do
dere is no one
dere is nth to look forward to
how does one's mind not lose itself?
Torture indeed.
My story is a failure
Tis proj is undone.
But most importantly, i left wif a sigh
My heart goes out to all of d old people dere
Every face i saw, every suffering.
Suddenly d place feels so cold
N i cldn bear to stay on a min more
to see d sufferings.
See how time rips off
n robs one of everything.
Life is short.
Live it d way u wan
Don be afraid to live it d real way u wan
Live, n leave no regrets
Don live for everyone else but not urself.
Don wait till time ticks away..
*sigh
? and i stand in the
wonder of your love
