true love does not alter

Saturday, January 01, 2005 @Saturday, January 01, 2005

Its a brand new year!
N here goes my year reflection.

:)
I welcome the yr with a smile
A big one.

No matter good or bad d yr has been
u should smile.

For u should be thankful
By grace, fate n chance
U are able to welcome 2005.
Thankful for all d things dat made u smile
Happy events, heartwarming events, old friends, n meeting e one out of millions.
Small little things dat needed so much fate but u overlooked it.
Thankful for hard times
For they make us stronger den b4
Bcos things that do not break us, will make us stronger.

For times when family leaves me heart broken
When sometimes i stop to tink is dere even a need to hav one?
Times when i feel so bad
N when i jus cant express how i feel inside
Times when members push me to d edge
N i feel lk jumpin frm d edge.

We havent keep in contact for yrs
It must have been such a long tm
For i never even have an idea of how u look like now
yet the regrets still live
For such a long tm i took
My eyes behind the blinds
Blinded till it was too late
How can it be
Dat I could have been the one in the picture with smiles
For once, it was me who gave the sun away
N d darkness dat followed for as long as i noe
The nites that haunted me
My head drowned in thoughts and so i shut myself
Dats y the yr of numb and feelingless
except for those dat circled around it and almos took all of dats left in me.

Neva say goodbye when u still wan to try
Neva gif up when u still feel u can take it
Neva say u don't love tat person anymore when u can't let go.
Now i learnt.
N y bother about wat d others say, how d others will look at u
For at d end of it,
tm will pass everyone will pass
Love is only about u n d one u love, afterall.
At d end of everything,
Only u urself knows what would really make u happy.
Having everyone else to see a good 'skin' on ur outside,
or fighting for the one u love to be wif her, which u noe would gif u true happiness inside ur heart.

I couldn't get over my giving up a permanent bliss i could have had,
for jus things for e moment n all d "I thought"s of d moments.
I thought of only d situation of d moment then
I thought dat i would be happier if i had d usuals den her
I thought i would be happier if i followed my mind, den follow my heart
I thought letting her go i would find ease in my heart
All the i thoughts, i learnt they were all wrong
I got my moment of ease,but not for long
And then it crashed on me, i wasn't happy at all, i couldn't be happy.

I lost my world, myself and thoughts.
N hence the serious thinking, away from the world.

To see clearly
Some not even called love
Some i now see as empty
Some had reasons when the real one u wldn even noe d reasons
And time allowed me to see wat love was
i reli learnt.
From ur loving me.

For all the times u stood by me,
despite how wrong i was
despite how hurt u were.
For all the times u try
Again n again.
For all my wrongs u gave me all d understandin, and right them for me.
For accepting all my mistakes my human imperfection
N always being dere to say "Its ok"
Even though it hurts u.
For when things go wrong
I see people leave
They always do
But u stayed.
U proved to me the otherwise
And u got my admiration
This is wat i call truly love.
Finally i know, u truly loved me.
I always felt tat wat truely is, is not loving when it is all happy and the sun is shining
But the love when u love even though it is filled with so many obstacles and everyone tells u it'll be easier for u if u let go
When u love even though it hurts so much
When u still clutch it wif both hands only for one reason
U reli love so much to ever let go..
Love that hurts is love tat is true, for if it doesn't hurt it isn't true love.
True love is loving no matter wat.

We hurt so much together
Doesnt it say how we loved each other alot

U were somewhat like me
Nv saying much
Words dat i say to whoever else, u saw thru them.
Just like me,
u believed words dun mean anything if not everything.
The true
Its not said with words
Its felt.
U nv listened to wat others say
Even though there were certain truths to it,
U understood how i reli feel inside.
I nv liked to explain myself, i nv would say much words
but u knew.
True love hears what is not spoken, n understands wat is
not explained,
For love doesn't work in d mouth, nor in d mind,
But in d heart..

I never foresee the day u would leave
I still remember u said forever
I still remember all of ur promises
How many times i told myself tis is not truth
U couldn't possibly
But when i close my eyes u are still gone

Its not something i believe
i still ask myself why i still wonder
Why u could do it
Why u threw the friendship the bond the special things we shared
U broke my heart
I believed so much
But now i see u had forgotten u had forsaken everything
Do u noe how sad i was
Do u noe how it really killed me
I didnt know the next step to walk this life

In my mind i see what we used to be
But my eyes saw what i didn wan to see

N i dunno how to go back where i used to be
I noe i cant be as gd as i was b4
Not even treating pple nice
For i am scared already.
N dere r those dat i still hav fears.
So pls forgive me
When at times i seem to have d defensive wall put around me.

But i am still goin to believe
For when u stop believing life comes to an end.
I have realised time nv stops for anyone
When my steps came to a halt, everything else, everyone else still carried on.
No one not even the one stops with u
They carry on with their journey
All sunshine in their world
Forgotten the you left behind in the world all blacks.
And dats the hard fact u gotta accept, no matter how much pain dat comes with it.
For u have long faded away from inside of them.
U have long gone and forgotten and forsaken.

I have learnt dat in tis life
Dere are more coverages of bad den gd.
Don't get too bothered up hence, for they dun get u anywhere.
The wind neva loses to d clouds.
If d one reli stays, she will stay.

And hasn't it been long enough?
And there forth b4 tis very path
I put it all down
Dey go all behind me.
I am going forth for this path.

? and i stand in the
wonder of your love