Wednesday, June 15, 2005 @Wednesday, June 15, 2005
There she goes again...
U alwiz hav to spoil a happy mornin
The ugly side of man
The sheer surfaced mind
The eyes dat fail to see depth
The mind that is so selfish
The poison from one tongue
Dun u noe its enuff to kill?
Jus to save that 'face' of urs
Jus u r afraid of how others look at u
u throw me into the flames of fire
to suffer, to slowly die
Is dat all u care about?
Is dat all?
N even if u wan to disown,
den do it.
Stop killin me slowly with those thousand spike words of urs
Again n again,
how long more of it?
How long more do u tink i can take
Does it not occur to u dat ive forgiven u time n time again despite ur damage to me
U tink i dun wanna leave?
I also wish i could go as far away as i could
Nv see u again
How could u have done to mk me feel tis
The extent of damage uve done in me, do u even noe
if i were striken down wif a terminal illness
with only a stated period of tm left to live
wld u den wld reli care jus dat i am well
N not on all other fuckin worldly things?
If i were to say sometms i reli wish i were born in another family
would u den straightaway condemn me dat i am wrong without even lookin into why i come to dat
Like u always would condemn me almost immediately.
At least i stood in ur shoes b4,
U nv did.
U nv tried to understand
U fucking jus want wat u wan.
Wat about wat i wan?
If i said i wish i had a different family
i bet anyone who read tis wld also tink, i am such a unfilial brat
Don judge
U wld never noe how it is, to be me
Unless u r in it.
U r quite powerful i muz say
To be able to mk my mind almost bonkers
To be able to mk me wan to gif up life
U hav pushed me, to almos d furthest i can go.
The ones dat gave me life
are the very ones to make me gif up life
Tell u wat, no use sayin all those things ok
Ive alredi lived past tat
Everythin n everythin hurtin dat u say
ive alreadi lived past dat
How i mean onli a shit to u
I also alreadi live through dat ok
It doesn cause me any upset anymore
Be fuckin glad
U fuckin live for others
Y should i live for u
U dunno who are d ones who truly is good to u
u r jus fuckin too blind i can only say.
U will regret.
Now u noe y i nv blamed my mum for commitin suicide
bcos i noe how she felt.
U senseless fuckin people
Those poison tongues of urs..
pushin others to their limits
even if alive, wld be pushed to insane
but a lesson u all nv learnt well
The only thing i will hate myself is
when its past
i noe i will still shed tears for u n be v heartbroken
after all dat u do to destroy me, i still will.
I am not human am i?
I should be drownin in hate for u.
How could u
why
I dun wan to noe anything
I am tired alreadi
All i can say is..
No matter wat
I will never give up..
Hear good.
